Thursday, January 31, 2008

Dissertation Woes

weI met with the statistian who's been helping me. I pushed pause on my dissertation months ago. As I panicked and realized I couldn't defend in October like I wanted, I slowly accepted it. I thought, well a little time to prepare the chapters in a less frantic manner is good.

So in mid Oct I slowed my pace. I was also overwhelmed (emotionally & psychologically) with my job. (Have I shared with you all how much I LOATHE my job, place of employment, and especially my idot boss?). Around the same time my statistician was on sabbatical. She had fallen ill was out of commission for 4 months. This is what really killed my progress. We were on a role. I had just presented a paper at an international meeting (it was like the trailer of the feature film called my dissertation). It was Sunday and we were all flying back to the States and she & I were scheduled to meet and do some follow-up stats that Wed, I think. And she fell ill on the way back. Bummer!

Anyway....today. We met and she still has some major questions about the topic and experiments. I just feel like I could have spent my time from Oct to now doing addressing those issues she brought up today. I feel like I wasted my time. (I did. I sat idle and whined about my job and didn't even pick up my dissertation bag.) I'm such an idiot procratinator.

Yes, I still have the job. No, I can't quit it....and that's another reason I'm sad. I meant to quit last week and my dern Financial Aid has yet to be processed. So no check for me until late Feb at best. And. the evil job house has GREAT insurance benefits. In the last week I've visited the Dentist and Doctor. Damn Health Insurance rocks. My university-subsidized grad student insurance never worked like this. Preventative care!!!

Per her recommendations, I'll be initiating a new liteature review for the dissertation (yes, new, the dissertation has changed directions mid-stream, too many times). So I'll stay busy and productive. Tomorrow, I meet with my advisor and let him know about all of the recommendations. Maybe the rest of the committee can help me salvage this and turn out a nice glass of lemonade to serve up in time to walk in May.

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